"The consequence of courage and hope is nothing short of victory. For victory sometimes shows itself in the most uncommon of forms." Is. 53

Inside

I dont understand how sometimes it can be so easy to speak and sometimes it is so very hard to actually talk or communicate. Recently, I have realized that my life has become a predictable routine of mundaneness. I basically lost my mental capacity on someone I dont want to lose it on because I didn't fully understand how I was feeling or at least how to process it or communicate it. I realized that I hadn't gotten out or changed a thing and that I had been eating myself from the inside out. How do you break out of this absolute boredom? I keep reading another blog and it talks constantly about how easy it is to fall into the rut of sameness over and over. I love what I do. I will never make millions but I love doing it. However, there are other things I feel like I have to do in order to make ends meet that I hate doing. Is it worth it to lose myself to make it work for now? I don't want to kill my soul in order to get by or just survive. I don't want to feel dead on the inside and feel like I am not well rounded or am so single focused on one thing that I forget what is most important to me. What do I really want?

3 things I will demand/pursue:
1) I will continue to demand/pursue different ways of teaching.
2) I will demand/pursue passion in what I do
3) I will always demand/pursue love and relationships above all

3 things that I refuse:
1) I will not do something that I hate
2) I will not lose myself in the mundane
3) I will not stop loving